Expressions

interesting title isn't it? how come snookers be in expressions. i will explain. its snooking myself in these difficult situations. i knew this day was coming, i prepared for it. but still, it just crushed me. it happened atlast. i am weak. i gave in. its confusing and intimidating.
the girl whom i used to hold in my arms was right there in front of me, and still i had to behave as if i am a complete stranger. the very arms that i held were inches away from me. the very cheeks where i used to kiss were a feet away, the very waist i used to hold her with was in hand's reach. but alas! she is a stranger to me now. or atleast, i need to act like that. it was disheartening to see that. i couldnt take it. i tried to walk away.
with moistened eyes, it was difficult to see the situation, let alone understand it. who is responsible for this? why am i getting hurt so much and she just enjoying her way ?
i guess how you handle these situations is what makes you the person you are. i am going to handle it gently. nicely and firmly.
its a kind of situation where i am needed, but i dont want to be there. and hence i would be there, but will be hard on me for that. its snooking myself. i love snookers but not like this.

how sweet is it to collect the rain drops in our hands, while they just splash and then fly off, the beauty of a dew drop melting on a grass leaf due the early sun rays , the melodic chirping of the birds asking us to wake up and play with them. boy, i miss all these, and blessed are the men and women who can experience it everyday and savour the happines..

Kareem just returned from his work, feeling great about the way the day went by, and still feeling great about his first date with the gril he always wanted to be. His performance at work has been great, the girl he wanted is impressed by him, man, he is feeling great. Looking forward, he is filled with the great days that lay ahead of him, where he could see his aspirations of leading a great life coming to reality. He was so engrossed in these thoughts that he could not help smiling. He was so eleated that he could feel the ground shaking, literally. He smiled, thinking how kiddish of him to actually feel it. He was enthralled to literally feel the ground shake. He felt it again, he could not believe it. It was incredible. Before he could see what was happening, his building came tumbling up on him. It was not his elation that made the ground shake, it was an earthquake. His life rolled in front of him, his childhood, his parents, his great job, his first date, his future. He tried to escape from the debris, he found a small crevice in which he could sneak through. He moved a bit, not noticing his movement will cause the debris to move. He struggled to fit through the opening, he could not. He tried harder only to realise that he shook the stability of the fallen debris. He could feel some heavy thing on his head. His head was spinning. He could hardly breath. His eyes were rolling. He is getting suffocated. He thought the is not going to make it. He fell down and he was dead. Death is invincible.
Frank is on his way to office, thinking about the day ahead where he needs to take care of his customer from Japan, his subordinate's problem, and oh yeah that design problem what was it? He cant remember it now. Anyway he can look it up on his computer. He is on ramp to US101 freeway in San Jose. Actually stuck at the ramp and waiting to get to office as soon as possible. Unfortunately the morning traffic doesnt give him a chance. He lookded himself in the rearview mirror. He has been working hard to balance his work and his personal life. He hates to be waya from his wife, but some time he has to. He thought, did I put on weight? Oh yes, of course, his wife has been complaining about for a while. Between his busy schedules and balancing acts he couldnt find any time for physical activities ( except for the acts of love). He smiles. He sighs, looking at the traffic. His heart speaks, is this it? Is this why I am here? Getting stuck in traffic, getting tougher to be with his beloved wife? He feels weight in his heart. Did his cholestrol increase? May be he should consult a doctor. Boy! Another item on the schedule. He hears some frustrated person honking from behind. He turns back and loks at them. He could feel his heart growing heavier. And then he falls on his steering wheel honking. The guy in the front got frustrated with this honking. He gets off his car to blast Frank. He finds Frank dead on his steering wheel. His cholestrol took its blow on him. Cardiac arrest. Deat is shattering and unforgiving.
Kamesh finished his graduate studies in electrical engineering an year ago. He has been frantically looking for jobs since then. Due to the inflation, the unemployment is high. He stays in Chennai. After an year of struggle, pulling contacts, at last he got an interview with a great company in Bangalore. He is very excited and apprehensive about he is going to perform in his interview. He has prepared well for it going over the material again and again, wondering if he had missed something. He is pretty confident he can do it well, but somewhere there is this little nagging doubt that keeps popping every now and then. He is in auto now trying to get to Chennai Central to catch a train to Bangalore. Actually he is running late. There had been a small accident on the way and the people gathered around it. It just took a while to pass that. Anyway he should be able to make it. After all, the train might be delayed. He reaches Chennai Central just five minutes before departure time. He pays the auto and sprints towards the platform. Unfortunately he has to take stairs to go the next platform which would delay him. He climbs them, two at a time. Runs over the bridge. The train is about to leave. The green signal has come on. He just dashed descending two stairs at a time. He is almost there, just six more steps to go. He looks at the train starting, looses his concentration on the steps, misses the step, tumbles over and falls down. People hurry to help him. But he doesnt move. They turn him over, he took a blow on his head. He is dead. Just a split of a second ago he was alive. Now he is dead. Death is momentary.
Death - funny thing. Its timing unpredictable, it is inevitable, it is momentary. Is it painful? May be, no one could answer that. Sure, it is painful for others.
I sometimes wonder, is deat our destination in the journey of life? Is that where I am headed to? Sure, we all know death is just waiting for us. It is our universal lover. It just cant help loving everyone.
You can run away from life, but you cannot run aways from death.
You can complain about life, you can only ponder about death.
You can break up with your life, you just cant live without death.
Life is journey, death its destination.
Life is enjoyable, death inevitable,
Life is definitely gonna betray us, Death definitely gonna hold us in her arms.

If we realize that death is inevitible, why not live the life to have no regrets. Why not live the current moment to its fulles extent, so as not to regret loosing it, even if it is momentarily. Who knows, may the coming moment could be your last??
Death - inevitable, invincible.

Looks like my personal life is set to go downwards. After having a "great" birthday, I got bumped with total destruction called "break up." Its so funny that I am writing about it. Its painful knowing that the girl who was in your arms today would be acting as if you are nothing to her from tomorrow onwards. Equally painful to know that the girl who meant so much for you today, you have to consider as if she means nothing to you from tomorrow. First case is something which I cant help and can live with it some time. How can I overcome my own deep heart-felt feelings for her? How can I live in the illusion that I never had anything for her?
I look at her now and see a face so beautiful as it has ever been, and knowing that I cannot kiss her anymore. What I cannot understand is this: how come it affects only me? Does that mean that I am the only one who had been loving her all this while, while she was having just fun with me? May be, I should have realized it long ago, when she always used to complain and put me down saying that she is expecting a prince charming. I thought she was just saying it for fun, but it so turns out that it was a matter of grave importance and grave consequences.
Atleast now, I dont seem to be as fettered as I thought I would be. This might be because she is still with me and not talking about her prince charming a lot. But will I be able to take it in the same poise when I see her clinging onto someone else? Will I be able to bear if she hugs and kisses someone else infront of me?

Finishing up Da Vinci code was itself a big achievement for me, considering
the fact tht I read 400 and odd pages of a novel. But as I finished the book,
I feel the insignificance of my living in this world. After all, what difference
am I making to this world? Apart from that, what exactly am I doing? What
am I learning out of this living? What am I destined to do? Is this mundane
job is what am I supposed to do? What is the Almighty’s plan for me, if there
is someone like that and if he Binduwouldsaymalechauvanistforsaying0he0 or
she, whoever it is? Or is it that I choose my own destiny. If that is the case,
what is that I want to choose? Definitely not what I am doing right now. Then
what is it? I have no clear idea, but I hope to get it clear pretty soon. It is
not a requirement that I need to have just one set of goals to summarize my
whole life. It could be the case that there are a set of goals in different fields.
Da Vinci’s resume has been the most impressive resume I ever saw. I am not
looking for such an eloborate one, but something that makes me feel good.
What does it take to be another Da Vinci? Can I achieve it? May be not, but
can I atleast be 0.1 of him? If so, I can try to be better than that.
The more I read about the philosophy, the art and the nature in general, I
wonder what and how much amount of secrets this Mother Nature has hidden
in it, and how much was added by the great minds that went past in our history?
Its been almost 100 years since the proposition of Theory of Relativity, I wonder
if there are atleast 100 people in this world, who completely understand the
implications of it. There is so much to discover in science itself. But ultimately
I feel it boils down the love one has to conquer the mysteries that this world
has shrouded in its deceiving protective embrace. I just wish in discovering all
those mysteries we do not spoil the great mightiness of this seemingly simple
but most intricate work ever witnessed.
Just think of the human body. Its just unbelievable how different organs work
unitedly to work as a human being. Its with such intricate details that nature
has moulded us. Its with such delicacy Mother Nature has produced us. Exactly
what is required at the correct places. No wonder it took ages for it to mould
like this. I guess any master piece takes ages to develop to the perfection. I
heard it tooks 9 years for Da Vinci to complete the most acclaimed Monalisa.
No wonder it took so many years for Nature to deliver a good as beautiful and
complicated as the human being.
I sometimes wonder what I am in the quest for life? Is it a thing, or is it
spirutual, humanitarian or what is it? Is it spreading love across the world? If
so, will I have someone special that I can identify? If not, will the person who
thinks I am special be able to take it? My mind is brimming with questions,
with no apparent answers in the near future, or as far as I can see.
What does it really mean to be a friend? Or for that matter loved on? what
is that we are looking for in the other person? Is it necessary that I should
be chasing a person in my life? Or is it also true that I am chasing far more
materialistic than that? Is is materialistic or spiritual? What is it? How do I
know about this?
I feel that I need to clean up a little dirt from this world. Doesnt mean that I
should take up a broom and start sweeping. If thats what I meant, I should be
clearing stuff from my bedroom.
I wonder how much of the actual so called ”‘Holy Scripts” still exists in their
Holy nature and are untouched by the political games of the human beings. But
the bigger question is, should they still be holding good if they existed today in
their pristine form? After all they are also written by the then existing human
minds, which might be better or worse than what exist now. But I am sure they
were far more skillfull and knowledgeable in terms of the societal issues.
Is the main reason behind our existence to persist and propogate our human
kind in this once vast but now small world? For some reason, everything seems
to be just for existence. Only few human minds seem to be out of that rat-race
and achieve far more interesting than the mundane life that others follow.

Thats the biggest oxymoron I ever heard. No love in this world is unconditional. Especially between a guy and a girl. For some reason, I feel its the nature itself like that. Look at any species in the nature, its always male that lowers its head in front of the female. Including the humans. I never seem to understand why only guys should bend down on knees and propose a girl, and why not the other way around? Why the girl expects the guy to make the first move? And furthermore, they seem not to be interested in any physical stuff though they need it. Why?
What is conditional love? One of my friends says that his girl friend always says, "you love me unconditionally, irrespective of what i do" but she would complain on everything he does. Now expecting unconditional love itself is on a condition kind. And more so if the person who says it doesnt follow what he/she says.
Unconditional love - what does that mean anyway? You just constantly love someone irrespective of what you face? Who loved whom like that? Would the person who loved be able to take it when the person whom he/she loved turns a back to them?
May be I should understand that there are hardly anything logical in love. It doesnt make sense for me, but may be thats the way it is. If so, isnt there a single girl who is equally confused as I am, and looking for a logic in love? Somewhere, someone is searching for the logic as I am looking for and someday we both should meet.

Hi All,
This is my first blog on net. Just to see if this works...